Winge Winge Winge
Tigers,
The League Table below shows us third from bottom with only goal difference separating us from the relegation zone. We have been playing for nearly six months now without getting any better and, if I’m honest, in some ways we have probably got worse. Whilst we now show more flashes of our ability to play proper football and occasionally turn teams over, we seem to have lost the ability to grind out draws – we have only come away with anything from two games out of eight this season – not good enough. I know that this isn’t the premiership and that we are only really playing for a bit of fun but I’m sure that we would have more fun if we won more often and I’m not sure that we are helping ourselves.
Unfortunately we are always going to have games (last night being one of them) when the strikers miss some chances that they should put away, some games (last night also being one of them) when the defenders concede soft goals and even (although, based on past performance, less frequently) some games where the Mole lets in some goals that he should have saved. There is nothing that we can do about that – it is just a function of the fact that most of us aren’t natural footballers. What we can do something about however is the following:
Keep Wednesday Night Free: In case any of you had failed to pick it up, we play every Wednesday night at some point between 5.15pm and 9.20pm. Thankfully we all have proper jobs which means that there are going to be times when work prevents us from playing but other than those occasions and, at a stretch, family commitments and holidays, there really shouldn’t be any reason to organise anything on a Wednesday night. Certain people are worse offenders than others – you know who you are.
Turn Up If You Say That You Are Going To: Last night was particularly annoying as it meant that we had to play with four men for ten minutes but it wasn’t the first time that people have said that they will play and haven’t turned up. Poor form frankly and not fair on the people who do turn up – it’s not like I don’t send enough emails asking people to confirm that they can play. If your plans do change at the last minute for any reason then please at least send an email/text message as soon as you can.
Injuries: A little more tongue in cheek than the first two but we do seem to have had a spate of peculiar injuries this season. Getting injured whilst playing for us is one thing but getting injured whilst doing extreme sports, trying to run off your beer belly or, god forbid, playing for another team isn’t really acceptable. If you insist on doing exercise more than once (or perhaps twice – see bullet next point) a week then please try to avoid anything which might hinder your chances of being fit for Wednesday night!
Training: If we want to have any realistic chance of promotion, we really need to play together more than once a week. Whenever I have suggested a game at the weekend, the average response has been about two, one of which is usually an out of office. In an ideal world it would be good if we could get a regular game together on, for instance, a Sunday afternoon… Anyone interested?
Less Winging On The Pitch: Shouting at people when they are out of position is constructive. Shouting at people when someone has just gone past them and missing your own tackle as a result of the fact that you were so distracted is not. We do need to talk more when we are on the pitch, we do not need to b!tch more.
Pass Backwards: We play our best football when the strikers and the defenders link up which means the strikers passing the ball backwards as opposed to always trying to turn the man and get a shot/pass away. I am as guilty as anyone of this and shall be writing out “I must pass backwards” 200 times every night before I go to bed. I suggest all of the other strikers do the same.
Movement off the Ball: In the defence of the strikers on the previous point –we need somewhere to pass to. There is nothing more infuriating than someone directly behind you or with two opposition players between you and them shouting “use it” or “easy ball” – it is not a f*cking easy ball, it is a f*cking impossible ball. Find some space and then shout at us.
Learn to Win: For a bunch of people who are pretty successful in all other aspects of their life, we are absolutely dreadful at showing any sort of will to win on a football pitch. Admittedly our confidence may have been tarnished by six months of getting beaten every other week but we should really try to believe in ourselves a little bit more and not allow every win to turn into a draw to every draw into a loss as we so often do.
There endeth the rant.
Fees.